Life has been completely kicking my ass, quite thoroughly at that!

So I was going about my merry days at work living out my daily life, a little more stressful than usual but I have been dealing with stress at work/school since kindergarten, nothing new. Man was I in for a suprise, started having panic attacks at work, lots of fun stuff. They progressively got worse and finally climaxed with me having such a bad panic attack that I collapsed at work from hyperventilating.

Oh but it doesn't end there, then the fun really begins, a short time later I started hearing voices, now mind you I was diagnosed with mild schizophrenia when I was in junior high because I quite often heard footsteps when no one was around. Okay so the voices start, woohoo, then I start getting visual hallucinations, which are a complete new one for me. Then the real fun part, feelings that people are out to kill me, yay. At this point I must say I am having loads of fun, unable to work due to practically constant panic attacks and at least once a week having a shizophrenic episode, it's just buckets of fun. Add on top of that having my place of residence in question due to a lack of funding, government aid being very slow to get started(I don't blame them at all by the way, just enjoying a good vent). Needless to say at this point I started feeling pretty damn down, fairly understandable really considering.

Now the fun part!!!! Medicine, started taking some medicine, does absolutely nothing for the schizophrenia it is supposed to be helping with however it does put me into a state of tiredness where i pretty much all day feel like I need to sleep. Needless to say after the bottle of that stuff was gone I wasn't missing it... or was I? Ever come down off of anti-psychotics before? Oh it is beautiful, it actually amplified my schizophrenia quite nicely, had a coupel major attacks, 1 of which completely rendering my body almost unmovable due to my arms and legs both shaking extremely violently.

So here I stand, barely able to stay where I live waiting for government aid to kick in, and constantly fighting to keep the small line I have between reality and my schizophrenia in tact enough to know what voices and images are not real and what ones are!